lost in good old days

I wish I loved LOST's fourth season premiere more than I did. What about you, island enthusiasts? What did you think? Did you love the show as much as our friends at The Chronicle? Would you be mad if I said I found it to be a snore? Don't get me wrong. Liked—no, loved—the clever bit with the Mustang and papayas at the start. Very Dukes of Hazzard. (If that doesn't make you curious, I just don't know what to make of you.) But ultimately, I have so little to say about the premiere because so little actually happened in said premiere: some Hurley backstory, some Hurley flash forward (not quite as far forward as Jack's flashes), a quick division of ranks between Captain Jack and Mister Locke, and more flickers of concern lighting up Ben's otherwise catatonic eyes.

Okay. One imagines premieres have considerable cubic pressure on them; they are, after all, the mechanism to set the whole damn contraption moving again. No problem, it was a grand set-up for the next one. Got it. We'll just look forward to the next episode, what we'll call the Premiere Revista. And about this one, the Premiere Prima (you'd think that was redundant, but you'd be wrong), we can really offer only two items of interest, a comment and a question:

1. We at Casa dell'Otto always knew Hurley was the real hero. So in that spirit, let's celebrate the cannonball scene for taking schmaltz to an operatic pitch. Oh the aquatic humanity of it all! Furry Hurley, bubbling away underwater with his dolphin-like grin, unwittingly christens himself—one dip being all he needs to resurface in a rite of passage into Hugo "the Tiger" Reyes. Roar, Hurley, Roar! Charge 'em, big man!

2. Did anyone else observe two strange moments of unmistakable accent intrusion? First time it happens is when everyone's choosing sides and Sawyer decides on Team Locke.

Kate (pretty as always in a shiny jungle sheen kind of way): What are you doing?
Sawyer: Same thing I've always done, Kate. Surviving.

Why did Sawyer suddenly become Scottish when he said that last word? You can't miss it. Have a listen. Then yet again just a minute or two later, we are treated to another continental dislocation. Moody Jack is moping around some fuselage when Kate, still delightfully shiny, approaches:

Kate: Are you thinkin' of Charlie?
Jack: It feels like a hundred years ago that we came out here together.

"OMG," I think to myself. "Kate is one of my people!" Inexplicably Irish. Now I have heard of globe-trotting performers (Britney, Madonna) slipping into foreign accents, but not usually in the midst of playing a character. Wouldn't it be fun to think it was a clue. This show seems to have fans obsessing like I've never seen about piecing together the program's past, present, and future. Reminds me of when I used to play Clue by flashlight as a kid. Kate in London with the gigantic satellite phone! No, no, wait! Sawyer in Glasgow with a fire torch (you know, the torches that never seem to catch the leaves on fire, even when Hurley drops them in dry brush—did you catch that?).

Ah sure, well we're awfully fond of the old LOST, lads. It reminds us of the days gone by. We'll watch it on our telly till the end, we will. Slante and may God bless ya with a pretty jungle sheen all yer own.