1. As a Californian, you likely need to learn to appreciate the "zipper" in highway on-ramp merges. No time like the gridlock holidays to reflect on this before you get in your automobile again.
2. George Michael's "Last Christmas" should no longer be getting air play. I should not even have to say that.
3. I will slap your hand if you give money to that nice old lady ringing the Salvation Army bell. That organization is ferociously anti-gay.
4. Okay fine. That's about it. I guess the merriment is infecting my spirit.
But hey, I'm serious. Merging should not be bloodsport. Think about this and make my world a merrier place in the new year. Thank you and remember: every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not.
Now I'm going to go drink your cider and read A Christmas Carol. Bah humbug!
